41 Atheism Changed Me.


Thanks to the awesome comments on the last entry, Gambling For Salvation, it came to me that i had to give out an explanation of what atheism and being and atheist means to me, of course the word atheism means "without gods" and any atheist is considered someone who rejects the idea of a creator god. But it isn't a religion or an organization, it doesn't have a set of rules, you don't need to go somewhere once a week to reinforce your atheism, there are no atheist pastors that guide you whenever you are having problems.

To me being an atheist doesn't just mean i don't believe in god, it is much more than that, even though the correct term would be a critical thinker, i rather say that i'm atheist, its a stronger word, stigmatized maybe by popular misconceptions, hell, atheists are the least trusted people in america. Whenever i say i'm an atheist, i mean i don't believe in god, demons, ghosts, exorcisms, homeopathy, and pretty much every other unfounded belief in the world, a true skeptic, a doubter, a non-believer, a naturalist, a rationalist. Anyone that spends more than 30 minutes with me during the day can easily notice it, i'm the guy that doesn't go with the flow whenever someone makes an unbelievable claim, of course to be like that you need a bit of a sense of humor so you don't come out as a complete ass, people are very touchy when you call them out on their bullshit.


For the past few years of my life atheism has got me interested in science, biology, astronomy, it keeps me thinking, it makes me read books and watch documentaries, i stopped being so self centered, i realized that my life isn't that important to the rest of the world that an omnipotent being would change time and events just to benefit me. Instead, it taught me how to better appreciate my life and the lives of those around me, unlike Jesus that turned water into wine, atheism made me realize that alcohol was one of the most dangerous drugs out there, it kills people by the thousands every day, ruins families and keeps the poor, well, poor.

I always wanted to make a blog, i always felt like i could use a scapegoat to express myself, to ventilate the thoughts dwelling inside the deepest caves of my mind, the thoughts that kept me up at night thinking, today, i'm proud to say that The Incredible Blog was featured on the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science twitter as a new member of the OUT campaign and its just another incentive to keep on writing.

Atheism has changed me a lot, i remember when i was a kid, around 7 or 8 years old, my fundie grandmother in cooperation with my mother told me that if i kept telling lies, satan was coming to get me, it's stupid now, but you have to understand, at that age, if both your authority figures, grown people,  tell you that the "enemy" as they would call it, the king of darkness, the master of torture, the most evil being in the universe, was coming to take you away because of your lies, well, that was enough to keep me alert at nights to say the least. Eventually i got so worried about it, and remember i was brought up in a christian family, that i had to go tell my mother how hard it was for me to sleep because satan was coming for me, my mother probably noticed that i was genuinely worried, so she prayed for me and told me that i was protected.

Church wasn't fun back then, we used to go to my grandma's church but the family, except for my grandma, got kicked out from it, why?, well, my mother and uncles were all friends with the pastor's nephew, really good friends, one day the pastor found out one of his daughters was pregnant, the father?, his nephew, our buddy, an incestuous relation is the last thing you need in a small church, so they told us to cut any relations with the guy, we didn't, so we got banned from church.

My mother, a single mother, didn't mind that all of this had happened under the nose of god, so she took me to a different church, a methodist church, i remember bible class there was hell, people couldn't be any more pretentious, kids didn't like me very much either because the first few days one our the teachers held a little contest, if you knew the sermon of the mount, you could win a tape with christian children songs on it, they've been getting ready for this for a couple of weeks now, of course i won the thing and i still have the tape to prove it, so from then on i had absolutely zero friends my age, just a kid i knew from school.

Rejection is probably what got me interested in reading the bible cover to cover at about 12 years of age, i had nothing to do in church and i always had a bible with me, so i started reading, now, i have to admit i didn't really understand much of it, but i now i do and i'm glad i did read it back then. My favorite book was definitely Revelations, it was the lord of the rings on steroids, fire, dragons, beasts, hydra-whores, trumpets, branding, chains, darkness, destruction, corruption and suffering, lots and lots of suffering, i  remember picturing everything in my head as i was reading it, the kind of imagery you want your 12yr old to be thinking about every night. After i was done reading the bible i started to really fear god, and i mean really fear the guy, he was remorseless, relentless, and he was going to destroy the world.

That's around the time i had the most spiritual moment in my life, i remember sitting in my room, looking up at the ceiling, wondering if god was going to end the world in my lifetime, i figured i would live the rapture, everyone was talking about how 9/11 was predicted by the bible, how it was a sign of the end of times, so i prayed to god, i asked him to please let me live my life fully, to finish school, get a job, find a wife, i wanted to have a chance of experiencing life. I lived in fear, fear of god, fear of demons, fear of ghosts, nothing can take away fear, you fear what you don't know, ignorance is fear.

Nobody should allow their children to go through that, from my own experience it is abusive, it's psychologically harmful, you are an adult, it all sounds harmless to you, but to a kid its real, its very real, just a few days ago i was reading on a cousin's facebook page how proud she was that her 8yr old son got scared shitless when she told her how people suffer in hell for being bad persons in life, she thought it was cute for his son to cry and tell her that he wouldn't be "bad" anymore, i told her it was abusive and she laughed at it, she didn't take it seriously, she thinks its all good, and i'm afraid this is something that goes on everyday on a lot of families.

The fact that some of my oldest memories are mostly about stuff that was said to me in church, or silly religious threats by my own family has to say a lot about how religion affects children's minds, of course i have happy memories too, but the bad ones are still there for some reason, and most of them have to do with religion.

41 Response to "Atheism Changed Me."

Naj said...

nice read man.

Michele said...

Cool blog!
Followin n supportin :)
Check my blog!

cooperlife said...

Jesus fucking Christ, man. Its stories like this that make me wipe the sweat from my forehead and thank the lucky stars that my fundie Christian mother raised me secular.

Deep Thought said...

I love your posts. Very heartfelt.

BLUERAD said...

^Indeed, I love your style of writing, and love the layout of your blog even more! It's looking great, and i'm always pleased everytime I visit your site. Thanks or all the great comments on my blogs, they are always very much appreciated!

ShredGuitar said...

I like this, awaiting your next update!

Nick said...

The thing about atheists being the least trusted people is insane. I mean, I trust atheists MORE because their actions are guided by logic. Think, who would you trust more as a president - a Vulcan, who considers his actions and their effects on the real world, or a Klingon, who fights because it's just the way it's always been.

Randy said...

" i realized that my life isn't that important to the rest of the world that an omnipotent being would change time and events just to benefit me. Instead, it taught me how to better appreciate my life and the lives of those around me, unlike Jesus that turned water into wine, atheism made me realize that alcohol was one of the most dangerous drugs out there, it kills people by the thousands every day, ruins families and keeps the poor, well, poor."

Those are exactly the same thoughts I have. I feel that if there is a god, then hes one sick f..., playing just around with us. Whats the point to us then if our lives are actually just all written down.
I'm not really against any religion. I don't like religion but what others belive is their own thing. But as I have grown up with my beliefs I find atleast christianity either cruel or just stupid. And if a god exists. I just feel I have lived my life right and I will be forgiven.
Some days ago I readed this one sentence "If you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing." I mostly respect things about religion, but this kinda made me giggle.

Nigma said...

Yeah Randy, if there was really a god like the one the bible describes well, i'm not sure if that's good in any way, in fact it would be horrible.

Mitsuru said...

It's sad that people say such ridiculous things to kids to try to scare them into behaving. Sorry that you had to go through that :( And congratulations on having your blog featured, you definitely deserve the honor :)

James said...

Good Stuff!!!

izmeer said...

Interesting read

Executive said...

To each their own.

Savage Nugget said...

HEHE, don't stir the pot too fast. :D

crammarc said...

I may have had different experiences but I ended up feeling the same way about religion, kudos to you

David Davidson said...

So glad I wasn't raised as a Christian. I was mostly undecided until my parents started trying to turn us Buddhist. I liked it at first but then I realized that all religions were pretty much the same (except Buddhism doesn't have the same horror and doom mindset of Christianity).

Treat religion like your penis, don't show it in public and don't shove it down the throats of children.

Trashcanman said...

Atheism !

Tal Zahn said...

Lol @ David's comment, haha.

I do like finding out why people chose their religion, so thank you for shedding a little more light on your life as of why you became atheist. Even if we disagree on things, it's always interesting to see people's reasons.

Biff Tanner said...

Gross fundie's

Zykei said...

If I don't follow/believe in any religion, would that mean I'm Atheist? I mean, it just seems more like an anti-christian group then anything. Why not just say non-religious?
Btw I don't follow any religion, I just want to throw out a question because from what it seems, people are claiming to be Atheists just to bash on christianity and what not, which I'm pretty sure, isn't the motive behind Atheism.

Nigma said...

It isn't, i bash christianity, islam, and on the coming days, scientology :D

shirou said...

interesting, keep it up..

loloriz0r said...

I don't like the label 'atheism'
because it restricts & assimilates you.

Katie Greene said...

nice blog

Navar Crow said...

I now it's bad form to ask, but I have a blog about atheism as well called CrowBar Atheist. Anyone who is willing can follow me. I have just started it so it's not very far along. I plan once a month, but may do more. I found Nigma through facebook. Seems like my kind of atheist so far. Keep roaring for us.

Swift Love said...

this is a good post that makes me want to come back for more

Dilly Skates said...

religious freedom

David said...

Find it hard to go to church anymore, cause I start having an internal argument against everything the preacher is saying.

Michael Casspir said...

Nothing wrong with a little atheism to realize that YOU'RE in control of your own life...

Cynthia said...

I'm too sick (catched a cold :/) to discuss tonight. Have mercy on me! :(

Anon said...

I look forward to more posts. It was a very interesting read. You should check out my blog. I just started it.

Nigma said...

Hope you get better soon Cynthia, ill say a prayer and sacrifice a goat if you want :D

Dr. Phun said...

Awesome read man, i see a lot of myself in that!

Muhunty said...

good read mate.

Kevorkian said...

As always, an interesting read.

Izzie said...

it's ironic that nobody trusts atheists, I feel like they have the best ability to do jobs important like..oh, run a country?
What with George bush talking to God and all.
Atheism is not synonymous with lack of morals. People don't get that.

All NY Love said...

Wired magazine had a great article not too long ago about neo-atheism. it bothered me cause it was hypocritical. they were a godless religion, basically..these guys were preaching to force people to not believe in god.

Nickolas said...

I think one of the reasons atheists aren't trusted is because we know more about religion than the normal religious folk do...
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/28/us/28religion.html

comradejoker.blogspot.com/ said...

Nice blog you have here bro,
supporting and following~

clops1 said...

Like Randy I can relate to so much of that.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. Whilst in Alcoholics Anonymous which places emphasis on God or your 'Higher Power' I could never fully appreciate how serious the problem was as my own life wasn't so important to me.

Since becoming an Atheist i have overcome my addiction and don't even think about alcohol (or AA). I certainly have no cravings. I think that's because I cherish this life so much and am in awe at the eternal beauty that surrounds me. I'm also so much more compassionate towards others and genuinely care in a way I never did before.

Great article - thanks for posting.

Nicole said...

I have to butt in. I realize this is late, but I just saw it and I think this is really interesting. Please don't think I'm a troll because I'm really not.

Bottom line is that I sort of disagree. While I pretty much totally agree with you on everything, there is one tiny thing... You can be religious without being an in-logical, ignorant, blind follower. I'd like to consider myself a proof of that. And while I'm religious I'm not part of any religion any of you would know; I just simply believe there is something bigger than us. You might call it being spiritual rather than religious, but in my book that's pretty much the same thing on different scales. It's that simple. And honestly, it's just as likely that a so-called God created the Universe as if the Big Bang happened. Neither of them can be explained and they both defy logic equally much. :)

Anyway, as far as Christianity and Islam being brainwashed into child families by school, institutions, churches and parents is sickening nevertheless.

And thanks for the read, I really enjoyed it. :)

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